Woman is baffled when boyfriend of 2 months pulls up his dating app profile in front of her: 'I felt embarrassed and a little foolish'

Author image for JR Atkinson
JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Oct 25, 2026 10:00 AM EDT

Dating is all about looking for red flags, and this man was full of them. 

When you're first dating someone, there is a lot that can go wrong. Every time you hang out, you might find out something new about them, and it might sway things either in a positive or negative direction. The person in this story was confronting a new dating nightmare that she didn't quite know how to wrap her mind around. She wanted to give her date the benefit of the doubt, but that wasn't shaping up well for either of them. When things are first starting out, you might be on the defensive a little bit, especially if you met on a dating app. Dating apps are a great way to meet people you wouldn't have otherwise, but they can also be a little scary for that reason. When you don't have any context for them, any friends in common or shared experiences, you might feel a little trepidatious when you're first getting to know them. You might be looking out for things that might speak to a deeper incompatibility. It may seem like a small thing in the moment, but over time they can snowball and create huge relationship issues. 

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  • A man in a black top holds out his phone on a date at a restaurant
    via Rendy Novantino

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

    A man in a black top holds out his phone on a date at a restaurant

  • The guy (36M) I'm dating pulled out his dating profile in front of me...

    Me (27F) and this guy (36M) have been dating for about two months, and things have been going really well. We're consistent, have a strong connection, and the chemistry is great.
    via u/Gen2hugs
  • However, something happened recently that rubbed me the wrong way. We went to a bar and started talking to two guys who asked how we met. We told them it was through a dating app, and they commented that he was lucky because not many girls respond to messages. We asked to see his profile to provide him feedback.
    via u/Gen2hugs
  • My man then said, "wait can you look at my profile?" pulled out his dating profile and started showing it to them. To clarify, we're not official, so I don't expect him to delete his dating apps. My issue wasn't that he still had a profile but that he chose to pull it out and show it to these guys while he was out with me. It felt unnecessary and a little inconsiderate, especially when they later asked, "Oh, why do you still have your dating profile?"
    via u/Gen2hugs
  • I felt embarrassed and a little foolish in that moment. I understand he may have just been trying to give the guys advice or connect with them, but I feel like there's a certain level of etiquette when you're out with someone you've been dating for two months.
    via u/Gen2hugs
  • I tried bringing it up that night by saying something along the lines of, "I care about your image because you're a public figure and have a good job, but it doesn't look right." However, I struggled to articulate exactly why it bothered me. I'm not sure if I'm being overly sensitive or if my feelings are valid, but I'd appreciate an outside perspective. Please & thank you
    via u/Gen2hugs
  • A man and a woman sit at a table together on a date, the woman shows her phone
    via Yunus Tuğ For Unsplash+

    Scene is illustrative and does not depict actual individuals or events.


    A man and a woman sit at a table together on a date, the woman shows her phone

  • Dating apps are a huge way that modern-day romantic hopefuls find their dates. Pew Research found that “About half of those under 30 (53%) report having ever used a dating site or app.” That's a whole lot of people. So it's no wonder that it's creating some issues in the dating market. If everyone is doing it, then there are bound to be issues. And there might even be new issues that didn't exist before online dating. For instance, what do you do when you find out someone you're dating is still active on the apps? It's a common experience, and one that can bring up a lot of tension early in a relationship. There are unspoken rules about how you're supposed to go about it. Discretion is usually a good idea, but sometimes easier said than done. Anything goes before you call a relationship exclusive, and you both might be going on other dates. But you may not want to actively know that about someone you're dating. But what if it comes up naturally? Is it better to lie to spare someone's feelings or tell the truth and risk losing them? The man in this story broached that question without much consideration for how his date might feel. They were out talking to another group of people, and the conversation turned to dating. But what transpired left everyone feeling a little strange. Keep reading to see what happened, and let us know what you think about it. 

  • Billeaugh I'm guessing it bothered you, as it would anyone in that situation, because he explained to several people you don't know - while infront of you - that he's still shopping around. It was disrespectful, immature, and lacked tactfulness.
    via u/Gen2hugs
  • JuniorCornblow I know you're trying to be the cool girl here, but if you've been dating him for two months and he whips out his dating profile in front of you to show other dudes, he's not that serious about you. It hurt your feelings,
    via u/Gen2hugs
  • there's nothing to be ashamed of. You've gotten yourself into a situationship. I'd step way back from this guy, tell him you're confused about his intentions, and start seeing other people again too.
    via u/Gen2hugs
  • Popular-Cantaloupe5 Walk away. People treat you the way you allow them to treat you. That was a move and he knows it.
    via u/Gen2hugs
  • pegw1n412 If he's a "public figure and has a good job", and he still has a dating site profile after 2 months of seeing you, then I'm sorry to say that the two of you have different goals here.
    via u/Gen2hugs
  • Did you delete your profile? If not, have you responded positively to any matches? I can almost guarantee the he has, if he is the catch that you are describing, and his profile is still up. This is really a communication issue.
    via u/Gen2hugs
  • OralMonk905 Genuinely give the guy and your mind a break. If he is still there with you, he means it. Men are simple creatures. What the other guy said matters a lot in this context. It was an ego boost for your man to have you
    via u/Gen2hugs
  • with him through an app, which very few men achieve. No wonder his profile would look like a piece of art for those men and he was proud to show something that worked for him. We men love to see what works on these apps, trust us, it's a dry zone out there for men genuinely looking to date.
    via u/Gen2hugs

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relationship advice dating fails relationship relationship status relationship-drama relationships story online dating healthy relationship dating
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